When Worry Feels Too Heavy: Understanding Postpartum Thoughts
If you’ve ever found yourself having unexpected or even scary thoughts after having a baby, you are not alone. The journey through conception, pregnancy and postpartum naturally brings about changes in the brain - changes that are designed to help new parents stay alert and protect their baby!
Alongside these changes, it’s also normal to experience a wide mix of emotions. Joy and love can sit right next to worry and exhaustion. Welcoming a new baby often brings forward incredible moments of happiness, while also introducing challenges that feel heavy and hard to navigate. It's important to recognize that both types of experiences can exist at the same time.
What is “typical”?
For some parents - especially those who may already be coping with anxiety or other mental health challenges, the heightened sensitivity and alertness of the postpartum period can make those scary or unwanted thoughts feel more intense. Oftentimes, we call these “intrusive thoughts” and believe it or not, they are very common after having a baby.
It’s completely understandable to feel frightened or guilty when intrusive thoughts pop up - but it’s important to know that these thoughts do NOT mean you want to harm your baby. Often, they are a reflection of just how deeply you care and how strongly you want to keep your little one safe. Intrusive thoughts are a common symptom of anxiety and the intense emotional shifts of the postpartum period - they are not an indicator of your intentions or your love as a parent!
What are intrusive thoughts?
Upsetting, unwanted and out of character;
Make you feel shame or fear;
Can come on suddenly and without warning;
Common in postpartum depression, anxiety and OCD.
Signs You May Need Extra Support
While intrusive thoughts are common, you may be wondering what the difference is between normal (yet distressing) intrusive thoughts, and something more serious. It’s important to pay attention to how these thoughts affect you. If the thoughts start to feel constant, overwhelming, or make it difficult to rest or connect with your baby, that may be a sign to consider reaching out for extra support. Although there’s not a one-size-fits-all experience for the postpartum journey, if your intrusive thoughts linger for longer than two weeks, worsen or make it difficult to function, it may be time to seek out help!
The challenges that a new parent may face can be explained by using a spectrum. These mental health concerns can involve a multitude of symptoms, we’ve included a short list below.
The Postpartum Mental Health Spectrum:
Postpartum Anxiety
Ongoing worry (often about your baby’s safety)
Inability to relax or wind down
Difficulty sleeping
Increased heart rate, nausea, loss of appetite
Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Compulsions or rituals to stop bad things from happening
Intrusive thoughts and fear of contaminating the baby
Extreme distress over these thoughts
Postpartum Depression
Ongoing sadness, numbness, hopelessness
Intense mood swings, unexplained rage
Difficulty bonding with baby
Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
Postpartum Psychosis (rare, but serious)
Hearing or seeing things that are not actually there (hallucinations and delusions)
Feeling detached from reality
Paranoia or confusion
Urgent thoughts to harm yourself of your baby
Finding Strength in Support
Seeking support during the postpartum period is not a sign of weakness - it’s a sign of strength and care for both for yourself and your baby. Talking with a therapist, healthcare provider, or trusted loved one can help to lighten the load, bring perspective and offer tools that can help manage the challenges you’re facing.
You deserve to feel safe and supported during this season of life. If you find that your challenges are feeling too heavy to navigate on your own, know that there is always support available.
References
Healthy Parents Healthy Children – Alberta Health Services
Lowthian et al., 2023
Society of Obstetricians & Gynecologists of Canada (SOGC)
